Return to Normalcy

In the months following September 11 Americans began "taking stock," as journalists put it. Many sought information that would strengthen their awareness on global-political issues. Still others questioned their lifestyle choices and altered their behavior to reflect new priorities, spending less time behind their desks and more time with families and loved ones.

These were the most trying times in Apathy International's history. Apathy in this country fell to an all-time low, and many here at AI feared it would stay that way.

Fortunately, after a year of heightened political awareness and nation-wide concern for the well-being of humanity, we here at Apathy International are proud to say:

The Reign of Empathy is over, the Tyranny of Self-Actualization has been crushed. Apathy is triumphant once more.

Throughout 2002 the event that would forever change our lives sunk further into the recesses of our minds. As the days passed we gradually realized perhaps our world hadnít changed as much as we feared. We defeated the terrorist regime of some country ending with an -istan and made our country safe again.

Besides, altering our lifestyles to include a re-examination of our place in the world and thus maintaining a deeper understanding of the fragile beauty of the human essense would only mean the terrorists had won.

Finally, America has returned to normal. Breadwinners have gone back to their desks instead of their families. Men once again focus their passion not on who shall make the decisions that govern our fates, but on who shall claim the next sports championship. Women are asking themselves, for the first time in a long time, not how to ease the pain of the suffering, but how to accessorize on a budget. We are reflecting not upon the plight of the downtrodden, but on the details of Tom Cruiseís divorce.

For all of you who stood firm and maintained your gelatinous stance on matters of social and political importance, for all of you who refused to care, Apathy International salutes you.

Without your perspireless efforts this nation could have never returned to where it is today.

As election time grows near, just remember your vote is meaningless, one in two-hundred million. It didnít count last time. Why should it now?

Donít fight the power.

Accept authority.

Care less.